How Can We Help?
Cantankerous Player Creating Chaos (Letter 10)
I joined a group of 12-14 people who play every week at my local senior center. Everyone gets along well except there is one person no one wants to play with because she is cantankerous. Any advice?
Seeking Harmony
Dear Seeking Harmony,
Senior center groups often follow a drop-in format, meaning players don’t always know who they’ll be playing with. This setup requires flexibility, as participants may encounter differences in playing style, experience levels, and occasional personality clashes.
If a particular player is creating tension, the first step is to involve a group leader or activities director, if available, to discuss concerns privately. If that’s not an option, the player with the best rapport with the unpleasant individual should try having a one-on-one conversation to address the issue directly but diplomatically.
I’ve learned a few valuable lessons after running several drop-in meetups over ten years. Here are three strategies that can improve group dynamics:
- Player Rotation – Every hour, rotate one or two players to different tables. This helps prevent conflicts from festering and ensures a mix of playing styles and personalities.
- Group Charter – Establish clear expectations for behavior, sportsmanship, and table etiquette. A simple set of guidelines can help set the tone and prevent recurring issues.
- Group Leader – Assign a volunteer to act as the group leader for a term (e.g., month, quarter, year) on a rotating schedule. The leader welcomes newcomers, facilitates rotations, and helps mediate minor conflicts before they escalate. Rotating this role ensures shared responsibility and helps build a supportive, inclusive atmosphere.
Minor adjustments can significantly foster teamwork, respect, and a stronger sense of community. A welcoming and well-structured environment can help ensure that everyone enjoys their time playing mah jongg.